Dear Expectant Mother,
Hello! We are Oren and Justin. We are so grateful that you’re considering us to adopt your child. We’re native Californians now settled in Berkeley. We have always been so excited to have children, so much so that we already started talking about names before we were even engaged! We know this is a very difficult decision for you, and are happy to answer any questions you may have to make you feel sure that you’re making the right choice.
When we first met, we lived on opposite sides of the country – Justin in San Francisco, Oren in New York. When Oren moved back to the Bay Area a few months later, it felt like fate. From the beginning there was an instant ease to how we talked to each other, and to this day we never seem to get tired of each other’s company. After all this time, we’re still having passionate conversations about television we’ve watched, and cracking each other up with our shared sense of humor.
When we started dating, when we moved in together, when we got engaged, we didn’t make grand pronouncements or dramatic proposals; instead there was just a lull in the conversation where we both realized we were thinking the same thing. When we decided it was time for kids, it was exactly the same. We both just knew.
Having kids for us was always a question of “when” not “if.” From the very beginning of our relationship, part of what drew us together was how great of a dad it seemed like the other would be. We can’t wait to share our home and lives with our kids. Justin is already checking school bus routes, and Oren is excited to help them with all their homework – really, we are both so ready to show them all the love in the world.
Meet Justin by Oren
Justin has so many qualities that drew me to him immediately. He’s always quick with a joke, undeniably smart and talented, thoughtful and caring, and a joy to have a conversation with, especially when he gets fired up about his passions. And while all of those qualities are definitely part of why I love him, his true gift (and the reason that people find him so charismatic) is that he makes people feel safe and taken care of. Without kids, he’s been taking out his strong caretaking instinct on me, his friends, his family, our dogs, people at work, minor acquaintances, someone he bumped into on the street…
I know that our kids are going to grow up Confident and strong, because to be loved by Justin is to feel safe and supported.
- Collection: I have filled every available surface in the house with action figures, mostly of Baby Yoda.
- Hobby: I love movies and TV, and Oscar season.
- Music: Driving with me always ends up being a pop music dance party!
Meet Oren by Justin
My favorite story about Oren is when he met my niece Ella for the first time. I was more nervous about their meeting than Oren meeting my mom because my niece (who was 5 at the time) was used to getting me all to herself. When they first met, Ella wouldn’t even say a word to him. But Oren charmed her with his humor, his honesty, his caring nature, and his unending energy. By the end of the day, Ella and Oren were best friends – and still are!
Oren is fiercely loyal, hard-working, passionate, trustworthy, and – above all – kind. What my niece saw in Oren that day is exactly what I see in him every day.
- Dessert: Creme brûlée, but I’m a sucker for anything s’mores flavored.
- Hobby: Anything creative! Writing, baking, knitting, you name it.
- Books: I’m a fantasy nut, and can’t wait to introduce our kids to Narnia, Hogwarts, and Oz.
Sweet Home California
Last year we moved into a cozy house at the foot of the Berkeley hills, which we’ve filled with the sound of TV and movies, the joy of board games, and the smell of baking. Our dogs love running around the yard (Reese chasing squirrels, and Freddie chasing Reese), and we love the peace and quiet of the suburbs. We’re only a short walk to the nearby middle school (Berkeley schools are fantastic), a playground, the public library, and many restaurants.
Reese and Freddie
No description of our lives would be complete without mentioning our very furry roommates! Senator Witherspoon (or “Reese”) is a Maltese/Yorkie mix. She’s protective, opinionated, and queen of the house – if not all of Berkeley! Chief Justice Mercury (or “Freddie”) is a Corgi. He thinks everyone that he meets is his new best friend, and will run up to every stranger on the street, butt wiggling with excitement! Both of them adore kids of all ages, and we can’t wait for them to meet, play with, and be secret accomplices to our children.
Our relationship Is built on a few core values, and we plan to bring those values to our parenting as well
- Communication: Probably the most essential value. It’s about not just trying to say what you’re feeling, but listen to what they’re feeling as well.
- Compassion: To us, love means always giving the benefit of the doubt. We want to create a space where everyone (parents and children) feels safe to be themselves, and knows that love will always come first.
- Joy: While family relationships can be fraught with feelings, it’s important to us that they also be full of fun and laughter, whether it’s through dad jokes or board games or even just a hug that unexpectedly becomes tickling.
- Curiosity: We love to learn more about the world, and about each other. We want our home to be a place where questions are always validated and respected.
- Stories: We love storytelling in all its forms – books, movies, television, plays – and we want to pass that love down to our children.
The People We Love
We both have family nearby. To the east are Oren’s parents and older sister, who was herself adopted. Oren is close with his parents and visits them every week, and has two more siblings who are a little farther from home – every other week they all get together on a Zoom call. Oren’s family get-togethers are filled with laughter, conversation, and board games.
To the north are Justin’s mom, sister, and our niece (12) and nephew (newborn). During the pandemic, we looked after our niece three days a week to make sure she was on zoom school, and helped her with her homework. Justin’s family get-togethers are filled with warm hearts, good food, and selfies.
We always make sure that we get together with our families for holidays: Christian ones with Justin’s family, Jewish ones with Oren’s family, and then for Thanksgiving we run around like crazy people to see both families!
It’s important to us that we raise our children with faith. For us, that’s Judaism – Oren was raised Jewish, and Justin converted before the wedding.
We’ve started to introduce Justin’s family to Jewish rituals and traditions, and can’t wait to tell all the stories and experience all the holidays with our children.
For us, faith is about building connection to family and community through traditions. Every December we put up a “Memory Tree,” where each decoration relates to something we love or did together as a family.
We are already committed to building a home and family based on love, connection, and support. We can’t wait to bring children into our lives and give them a warm, caring environment to grow and thrive.
We know this is a huge decision – we sincerely appreciate that you’re taking the time to consider us. We are so excited to be parents, and would be more than happy to answer any questions that you may still have.
Contact us directly at 510-606-5392 or email@example.com. You can also reach our warm and helpful adoption attorneys, Karin Stoeckenius and Holly Wotherspoon at 1-800-U-Adopt-US (1-800-823-6788) or email them at: firstname.lastname@example.org. You can also visit their website at www.adamsromer.com.