Pilar & Carl

Dear Expectant Mother,

We are a colorful and lively little family: Carl & Pilar (aka: PapaDog & MomaDog) and our two funky dogs, IshaDog and CocoDog. We live in one of the most vibrant and culturally diverse cities in the country—Oakland, California. We are blessed with a warm and supportive community of close friends and family.

We are excited for the opportunity to grow our family through adoption. We hope that through sharing our story we’ll give you a glimpse of what our lives are like and the way we carry ourselves in the world. Thank you for reading about us.

Our Story

We met the old fashioned way, on a dance floor. That was over 14 years ago, and we still love to dance. We also have fun laughing and exploring the world together. When we are not out shakin’ a tail feather, we like to snuggle on the couch, make popcorn, and watch movies. During lazy Sunday afternoons we love to do puzzles in our loft and listen to records. During the summer, we enjoy hosting birthday parties and BBQs in the backyard. Pilar loves to decorate our house for holidays, and Halloween is one of our favorites.

When out and about we enjoy getting together with friends for their children’s birthdays, going for walks in the redwoods with our dogs, and visiting our local beach. We also love visiting new places, both home and abroad. We are drawn to water and enjoy beaches as well as the rivers and mountains of the West Coast and Mexico. Wherever we are, we love to laugh together and enjoy the precious moments of our life. We look forward to sharing adventures great and small with our child.

Carl swimming with our niece

“Papa Dog” Carl, by Pilar

Carl is so multi-talented he reminds me of a swiss army knife. But he also likes to goof off and have fun, so maybe he would be a circus clown’s swiss army knife. He has many talents, especially building things with his hands. He is super creative and goal-oriented, and he has worked hard cultivating a thriving business and work life, while still balancing that with fun and family. He will be a caring, involved father to our child, bringing fun to all that he does.

Carl started a media business a few years before I met him, doing video shoots for local organizations. Since then he has grown it into a full-fledged creative agency doing work in film, photography and video that serves large companies around the globe.

Carl has a genuine, soft heart. He meditates regularly and feeds his soul by being outside, hiking In the mountains, or just listening to the birds in the yard. He is an avid surfer and listens to reggae non-stop. He connects to all children, and absolutely loves holding babies and playing with young ones. He is widely known as Uncle Carl, and deeply cares for and is committed to the children in our lives. I know our child will feel deeply loved and supported by him, always.

Pilar on the front steps with the dogs

“Mama Dog” Pilar, by Carl

Pilar is the most fun and creative person I have ever known, and she has taught me so much about love and compassion. She cares for all creatures and is a fierce protector of those she loves. Her creativity and joy for living show up in everything she does, from creating a bouquet out of roadside flowers for a car crash victim, to brainstorming thoughtful activities to celebrate a loved one’s birthday. She balances a childlike fascination with life with a very adult sense of responsibility. I know she will be a wonderful, dedicated mother to our child.

When I met Pilar she was an educator for a local non-profit in San Francisco. An artist at heart, she decided to switch professions to floral design, and has been running her own business as a floral designer for the last nine years, focusing on sustainability and environmentally conscious offerings. I am constantly impressed with how she guides her business by leading with her values. Her business is family friendly and she can’t wait to participate fully in our child’s activities.

I know Pilar will be an engaged and loving parent. Children are drawn to her calm and quiet presence. She connects with kids at their level while guiding them to discover new things. I am so excited to share  this parenting journey with her as we begin to build a family together.

With our nephew, baby Kia

Our Family

We celebrate the diversity of our blended families and the lessons we’ve learned growing up in multi-cultural households. Our family is a tightly-knit group of siblings, their children, parents and their partners. We are lucky enough to spend most Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays with our combined families every year.

Pilar is Latina, a mix of Mexican and Indigenous peoples from the Americas. Her father died when she was 20 but she has a half sister whom she stays in contact with. Carl grew up in Boise, Idaho. He’s close with his older brother, who lives in San Francisco, and he has an especially close relationship with his older sister, who was adopted five years before he was born. Today, he is proud to be an uncle to her 10-year-old daughter.

We see Carl’s brother often, and we travel to visit Carl’s mom and her partner, his sister and niece as well as Pilar’s mom and stepdad. We look forward to raising our child in a vibrant, diverse and inclusive extended family that recognizes and celebrates all cultures, ethnicities and lifestyles.

Our home

Our Home & Community

For the last twelve years we have made our home in a cozy 1903 Craftsman house in North Oakland. As artists we never stop re-imagining the space so that it can support our friends, family and our own creativity. Our favorite room is the upstairs loft/family room where we listen to records (on a real record player!), and which we have designated a phones-free zone. We have a small yard for our child to play, front and back, and we love spending time outside with family and friends. Most mornings, you can find Carl sitting on the back deck, drinking his morning coffee, admiring the garden where Pilar is continuously planning new plantings and beautifying our little personal oasis. We can’t wait for our little one to join us.

Oakland, is a very diverse, active and artistic community. We are close to Berkeley and just a short drive over the Bay Bridge from San Francisco. We live two blocks from the North Oakland library, a great place to take children, and there are two lovely playgrounds within walking distance.

Values & Parenting

We are spiritual people who embrace many positive lessons and ideas from a range of religious teachings and spiritual leaders. Pilar grew up Catholic, and Carl grew up in a Quaker Friends household. We sometimes attend a local Quaker meeting in Berkeley, and look forward to spending more time with spiritual groups as our family grows. We believe strongly in treating all people with love and respect, and we believe in equality and justice for all people. We also feel a great responsibility for caring for our planet for future generations, and plan to instill that in our child as well.

Education, physical activity, and art are very important to us. We both attended college and have had opportunities to study a variety of arts as well as learn and develop physical skills like ballet, flamenco, skiing, skate boarding, and surfing. Pilar is bilingual and we both studied Spanish in school and abroad, and we would like to pass that knowledge along. Our child will have the opportunity to go to college and pursue any of his or her interests. We believe that the way we live and communicate with each other will teach our child to be a compassionate and loving person. We value the lessons learned from making mistakes. We hope to teach our child to be both independent and community-minded. We look forward to sharing our appreciation for having fun and enjoying life while we do our best to be good humans every day.

Thank You

Thank you so much for taking time to read about us. We would love the opportunity to learn more about you and answer any questions you may have. We can be reached toll-free at 1-888-271-9791 or by email at carlandpilar@gmail.com. You can also reach our warm and helpful adoption attorneys, Karin Stoeckenius and Holly Wotherspoon at 1-800-U-Adopt-US (1-800-823-6788) or email them at info@adamsromer.com. You can also visit their website at www.adamsromer.com.