Dear Expectant Mother,

Hello from Monica in the Bay Area. Thank you for taking the time to read my letter. I can’t begin to imagine the challenge you are facing as you think about placing your child with an adoptive family. I admire your strength and the love you are showing for your child as you face this difficult time. I have always wanted to share my life with a child. I hope this letter gives you a picture of who I am and the open and loving family environment that I can offer to nurture, support and help a child grow.

A Bit About Me

I am a California girl—I was born in Northern California, raised in Southern  California and have lived in Central and Northern California since college. I am now happily settled in the East San Francisco Bay Area community of Berkeley. My roommate is my cat, Maxi, who is awesome. She is 10 years old and really affectionate—she loves being petted and is great with kids—my niece loves playing with Maxi when she visits.

I love to laugh. Whether it’s watching a funny movie, telling a joke or just remembering funny moments, I look for the joy and laughter in life and believe that there is little that can’t be improved with some hope, hard work and a good laugh. I love all sorts of books and movies: whether that be reading romances, mysteries or classic literature, or watching a hilarious comedy, gripping drama or action movie. I am excited to share my favorite children’s books and movies with a child. I also really enjoy cooking. Each month I meet up with six or seven friends for our Cooking Club—we choose a theme, like Ethiopian food, Pub food, or Breakfast, and we each cook one dish for the meal. I love the creativity of looking for the perfect recipe online and then adjusting it as I go to make it even better. My friends and I also enjoy going out to share meals together—finding fun new restaurants to try out.  My child will have wonderful, memorable mealtimes surrounded by friends and family.

I believe that traveling is an important part of life. I love experiencing new places and cultures. I’ve been to China, Malaysia, Australia, Scotland, Mexico, Canada, Ireland, the Netherlands, and more. I have also explored a number of interesting US cities like New Orleans and New York. My sister Tricia and I once took a road trip from Seattle all the way to Minneapolis—an amazing way to see so many beautiful places. These are all things that I am excited to share with my child. I admire how my sister and brother-in-law have introduced my niece, Naomi, into the activities in their life that they are passionate about; expanding her experiences by making her a part of them. That is the model I plan to follow with my child.

My Career

I  attended college at University of  California Santa Cruz. I originally thought I wanted to be a writer or a counselor, but after college I got a position in marketing at an educational publishing company. I loved working in education—being involved in providing the materials that would help kids and adults learn and improve their lives. I realized that marketing and education were my passion, and I decided to go back to school to get my business degree. I have spent the last 13 years working in marketing in educational toys for babies and young children. Now I work as a Vice President of Marketing with an amazing team of people who are all passionate about building toys and games that kids will love and that will help them succeed in life. It is incredibly rewarding to watch a child having fun and learning with a product that I helped develop and sell.

My Family & Friends

Family is incredibly important to me. My parents are both kind, compassionate, generous and loving. My father was a doctor and my mom was in energy conservation measurement. My parents taught me and my sister the importance of responsibility, hard work and giving to others. My mom and dad are wonderful grandparents to my niece and have been extremely encouraging of my dreams of a family—they can’t wait to meet their newest grandchild! I am also blessed with a large and supportive extended family. I have five cousins in California who have eight children ranging in age from 2 to 10 years old. We gather every Thanksgiving and Christmas at the house that my grandparents built on the Northern California coast to hike, cook, visit the beaches and just enjoy spending time together. This extended family will provide an incredible network of friends and playmates for my child. My sister is one of my best friends. She now lives in Minneapolis with her wonderful husband, Zach, and 6-year-old daughter, Naomi. We stay in close touch and I see them five to six times a year. I can’t wait to take my child on our future trips together, sharing family and new places together or having fun in the snow or the sun of Minneapolis.

I have a number of wonderful friends in the Bay Area who are thrilled to welcome my child. They will help and support me, whether that be through babysitting or just enjoying fun activities together. My best friend, Alicia, lives about two hours away, but has been a major part of my life since college. We try to get together once every month or two and she can’t wait to be an honorary aunt to my child!

My Home

I  am lucky enough to live in Berkeley in  the East San Francisco Bay Area. My home is a two-story condominium only a block away from a great elementary school. The building is cozy and sits in a residential area full of single-family homes. One of the families in my building has two children, ages 5 and 2, and there are lots of other children in the neighborhood. The baby’s room looks onto the back patio and gets great light in the morning. I plan to fill the room with furniture that my dad built, which my sister and I used in our bedroom when we were growing up. I chose my home because the schools in Berkeley are very highly rated and I love living in the Bay Area—the beauty of the Bay, the diversity of the people who live here and the acceptance of differences.

Parenting & My Values

I am extremely blessed. I have a job I love, I live in a beautiful and diverse place, and I have supportive family and friends who I can always count on. I have so much love to give a child, and I would love to share with my child the rich environment, life experiences and loving family I have been given. I have always known that I wanted to be a parent. I also know from friends and family that being a parent is one of the most challenging things they have ever done, but also one of the most rewarding. Being involved in my niece’s life has really reinforced how much I have to give to a child. Spending time with her is always a joy. Even when she is cranky, tired or bouncing off the walls, I love being with her, and I know I will feel the same way with my own child. I have wonderful examples of strong mothers in my mom and my sister, and I can’t wait to shower my child with love and to nurture and support him or her growing up.

If I am lucky enough to be your choice, I promise to love this child unconditionally. I will  provide structure without being confining, teach values without judgment, and offer an enormous number of opportunities to learn, experience and grow through travel, education, sports, arts and music, and helping others. My child will know that he or she is the most important person in my life.

Testimonial from My Sister

 “Monica has such a big and caring heart. For so many people she is close to, both family and friends, she is the person we rely on to be there when we need her. For as long as I can remember, Monica has been my protector and my friend. Now I have had the chance to see her incredible relationship with my daughter, Naomi. Monica was there at Naomi’s birth, and has been there for every birthday, and every time that Naomi needed her. Naomi knows that she is loved unconditionally by her aunt and that Monica values her just for being her. I know that Monica will make a wonderful parent. I am excited for her to share her big heart with her own child, and see that child grow strong and confident through the loving and supportive environment she will create.”  

— Tricia (Monica’s sister)

Thank You

I want to thank you again for considering me as the parent for your child. If you would find it helpful, I would appreciate the chance to talk with you to answer your questions, find out about your hopes and dreams for your child, and discuss what level of communication would work best for you. I want to make sure that this child understands that he or she is loved by both his or her birth family and adoptive family.

Contact me toll free at 1-800-270-1523 or by email at You can also reach my warm and helpful adoption attorneys, Karin Stoeckenius and Holly Wotherspoon at 1-800-U-Adopt-US (1-800-823-6788) or email them at You can also visit their website at